My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
