my soul wont recognize me after tonight
where am i from again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
