Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
