apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
