We named our party play list daddy issues
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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