He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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