Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
