Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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