I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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