awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
