I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
