At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
