Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
