another moral hangover. fuck.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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