He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My pussy is not your playground.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
