dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
