He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
