and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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