Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
