I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
