Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
