I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
