She's JV to your varsity
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
