mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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