Only a mothe r could love this liver
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
