your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
