You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
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