Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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