i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
