Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
