who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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