I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
