she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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