Pappa wants mamma naked
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
