You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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