Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize