Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
