I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am mentally ready for anal.
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