Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
