I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
