Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
