He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
