it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
