He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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