i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
