umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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