I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
