eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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