Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize