She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Vodka?
Forever.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
