I'm really into asian looking animals
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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