i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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