the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
