so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize