You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
