you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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