You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
