dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
