You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
