Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
