My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
