I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
