So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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