Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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